TranscriptWIP
[SOMEWHERE, IN A PARK]
NOOA: Ok guys, someone asked about your 🍌, so get here, drop your pants and get me those 🍌 real hard.
KAT: ok done
NOOA: Dafuq ?
KAT: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
NOOA: How about you Tan ?
TANNEN: Just... give me a moment will ya ?
NOOA: Sure.
KAT: need a hand with your 🍌 ?
NOOA: Just... shut up...
KAT: k
*while waiting, casually grabs his 🍌 with both hands and starts moving his hips as if he was handling a sword, accompanying each swing with a sound*
SWEESH ! SWEESH !!
TANNEN: OMG COULD YOU NOT DO THAT !
KAT: k
*turns around and continues, but does smaller motions and quieter swing sounds*
... sweesh !... ... sweesh ! ...
TANNEN: Uuurg...
*angrily mumbles something inaudible*
Alright... should be good... my 🍌's fully erect now...
NOOA: Perfect. How about you Kat, your 🍌's still up ?
KAT: *does a wide hip motion to flash his perfectly erect 🍌 at both as an answer to this question*
WOOSH !!
NOOA: Ok.
TANNEN: Could we get over this quickly ?
KAT: already losing it eh ? he he he
TANNEN: No, I'm just tired of seeing your stupid face !
NOOA: Okaaay... let's do this then...
KAT: covered or uncovered ?
NOOA: Uh ?
KAT: the head, covered or uncovered ?
*demonstrates it, slowly pulling back his 🍌-peel to expose his shiny pink 🍌-flesh, then carefully slides it up in an attempt to cover it again*
NOOA: Ah, uh... I don't think it matters for the measuring of your 🍌...
TANNEN: IT DOESN'T !
KAT: k...
*keeps fumbling with his 🍌-peel to cover the head again, but his 🍌 is too erect and wet now and it keeps gliding back*
TANNEN: IT MAKES NO FUCKING DIFFERENCE !
KAT: *does a few more attempts of rolling it back and forth, obviously flustered now*
TANNEN: AND STOP THAT ALREADY !
*angrily slaps Kat's hand off his 🍌*
YOU'RE GONNA GET TOO RANDY AND RUIN THE WHOLE THING ! JEEZ !
NOOA: Uh yeah Kat, maybe... huh... stop now before it's too late...
KAT: ok
*manages to snap out of it, abandoning his 🍌 in a natural fully-erect semi-covered position*
NOOA: I... 'm gonna start with you Kat, it's... probably safer... you ok with that Tannen ? Your 🍌's gonna hold up ?
TANNEN: *looks angrily*
Just hurry !
*while slowly jerking his 🍌 to hopefully cheat some extra length out of it*
NOOA: Alright. Ok, Kat, come here.
Kat : yay i'm first !
NOOA: I'm gonna touch your 🍌 now, and hold it firmly to lay the tape along its length, then measure from the 🍌-bone up to the head of your 🍌, ok ? I'm gonna push the tip of my tape into your 🍌-fur, so don't be "surprised", ok ?
Kat : ok !
*wags tail in excitement*
NOOA: Ok...
*measures Kat's 🍌*
TANNEN: *curiously looks over Nooa's shoulder while still slowly stroking his 🍌 with one hand and pulling on his 🍌-peel to make it cover his 🍌-head with the hopes it will make it look bigger*
NOOA: Your 🍌 is exactly 15 centimeters.
KAT: yay !! i win !!
TANNEN: WE HAVEN'T EVEN MEASURED MINE YET YOU FUCKING IDIOT !!
KAT: ooh
NOOA: Yeah, let's get to your 🍌 now, Tan.
TANNEN: Hurry.
KAT: *crouches beside the two and moves his face as close as possible to observe the entire procedure, sniffs loudly a few times at the overwhelming 🍌-fragrances his wolf nose perceives particularly well*
TANNEN: *rolls eyes and sighs angrily*
NOOA: Ok, same procedure, want me to repeat it ?
TANNEN: Just do it.
*notices Kat's finger slowly hovering towards his 🍌*
DON'T !
*notices Kat's finger slowly hovering away of his 🍌*
NOOA: *proceeds with the measuring, tries not too chuckle when she notices Tannen holding his breath to exerces as much tension as possible on his 🍌, to force as much size as possible out of it - slows down the measuring, to enjoy Tannen's silent struggles and little chokes a bit more*
Alright, you can release it now
*chuckles*
TANNEN: *breathes loudly in relief*
KAT: and ? how small is it ?
NOOA: Your 🍌 is precisely 16,9 centimeters.
KAT: yay !! i win !!!
TANNEN: HOLY FUCK ARE YOU RETARDED ! 16,9 IS BIGGER THAN 15 ! MY 🍌 IS BIGGER THAN YOURS !! I WIN !!!
NOOA: You're right, Tan. Your 🍌 is longer than Kat's.
KAT: hmmm
*looking dubtfoul, crawls in front of Tannen, callously grabs both their 🍌 and presses them together, sideways - as much as possible, to compare them by himself*
TANNEN: What the...
NOOA: *smirks and remains silent, enjoying where this is going*
KAT: *carefully examines both their 🍌, moving them from one side to another, up and bellow each other, jerking them to uncover and expose their 🍌-heads, rubbing and squeezing them both together, inadvertently making everything much sloppier than it should*
naa, my 🍌's bigger, just look at it
NOOA: *bends forwards to look*
Well, you are right too, Kat. Your 🍌 appears to be thicker than Tan's.
KAT: so i win !
TANNEN: YOU DON'T ! WE MEASURED THE LENGTH ! MY 🍌 IS LONGER ! I WIN ! THE END !
KAT: yeh that makes no sense if my 🍌's thicker then it's bigger, so i win !
NOOA: Well, technically you're both ri...
FEYEL: *from behind, interrupting*
Yo, what's going on here ?
[TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2]
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